Why Not Be Utterly Changed Into Fire?

I thought that I might as well explain what the title of my blog means instead of leaving it as some obscure, artistic-sounding phrase that most people will probably just not pay much attention to. It comes from a song by a band called mewithoutYou called "The King Beetle On a Coconut Estate." Here are the lyrics:

As the moon rose and the hour grew late

The day-help on the coconut estate

Raked up the dried leaves that fell dead from the trees

Which they burned in a pile by the lake

The beetle king summoned his men

And from the top of the rhododendron stem,

"Calling all volunteers who can carry back here

The Great Mystery has been lit once again"

One beetle emerged from the crowd

In a fashionable abdomen shroud

Said, "I'm a professor, you see, that's no mystery to me

I'll be back soon, successful and proud"

But when the beetle professor returned,

He crawled on all six, as his wings had been burned

And described to the finest detail all he'd learned

There was neither a light, nor a heat, in his words

The deeply dissatisfied king

Climbed the same stem to announce the same thing

But in his second appeal sought to sweeten the deal

With a silver padparadscha ring

The lieutenant stepped out from the line

As he lassoed his thorax with twine

Thinking, "I'm stronger and braver and I'll earn the king's favor

One day all he has will be mine"

But for all the lieutenant's conceit

He too returned singed and admitting defeat

"I had no choice, please believe, but retreat

It was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat

And it cracked like the thunder and bloodshot my eyes

Though smothered with sticks, it advanced undeterred

Carelessly cast an ash cloud to the sky, my lord

Like a flock of dark vanishing birds"

The beetle king slammed down his fist

"Your flowery description's no better than his!

We sent for the great light and you bring us this?

We didn't ask what it seems like, we asked what it is!"

His majesty's hour at last is drawn nigh

The elegant queen took her leave from his side

Without understanding, but without asking why

She gathered their kids to come bid their goodbyes

And the father explained, "You've been somewhat deceived

You've all called me your dad, but your true Dad's not me

I lay next to your mom and your forms were conceived

Your Father's the light within all that you see

He fills up the ponds as He empties the clouds

Holds without hands and He speaks without sounds

He provides us with the cow's waste and coconuts to eat

Giving one that nice salt taste, and the other its sweet

Sends the black carriage the day death shows its face

Thinning our numbers with kindness and grace

And just as a flower and its fragrance are one

So must each of you and your Father become

Now distribute my scepter, my crown, and my throne

And all we've known as wealth to the poor and alone"

Without further hesitation, without looking back home

The king flew headlong into the blazing unknown

And as the smoke ring hurled higher and higher

The troops flying loops around the telephone wires

They said, "Our beloved's not dead, but his highness instead

Has been utterly changed into fire"

Why not be utterly changed into fire?

Why not be utterly changed into fire?

Why not be utterly changed into fire?

Why not be utterly changed into fire?

Sorry that was so long, I promise my future blog posts will be shorter/have more pictures/be more interesting. Here's a picture of a beetle for you to make it a little better:

I wish I could go into a full analysis of the song because it's one of my favorites lyrically, but that would take forever to read. The basic message of the song is that you'll never really be satisfied with your understanding of the fire (God) if you just rely on other people's descriptions/experiences of it. To truly be fulfilled by your knowledge of the fire, it means it must be the knowledge that comes from personal experience: flying headlong into the blazing unknown.

The bible says that true personal experience with and fulfillment in God can only come when we die to ourselves. Jesus himself said that "whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it" (Matthew 16:25). The whole concept of dying to self is something that I feel God has really been putting on my heart lately, and it has a lot to do with going to Honduras too (if you just randomly found this blog, I'm going to be volunteering at a place called Orphanage Emmanuel in Honduras this summer). I know that some of you are upset about me being away for like three months straight, and believe me, it will be very difficult for me to be away from all of you for that long as well. It's also gonna be pretty hard for me to go to a foreign country where I don't know anyone since I can be a pretty shy person at times, but I am very confident that this is what God wants me to do.

I don't want what I want; I want what He wants, even if that hurts.

Of course, that's an easy thing to say and a much harder thing to actually experience. However, I'm finally beginning (emphasis on beginning) to understand and accept the implications of a statement like that, and God is teaching me to really trust in Him. God's plan is infinitely better than mine, and His promises are true. He won't let me or you or anyone else lose their life for Him and not then reward them with the true life that comes only from Him. So the question still remains:

Why not be utterly changed into fire?

p.s. You should go listen to "I Belong" by Foxes Have Foxholes, it explains how I feel pretty well. You can even download it for free (and legally!) at noisetrade.com.